meet me or not, i'm out of control
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
