Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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