I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
