The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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