so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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