Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
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