Betty ford says i'm here all night
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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