you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
