paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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