Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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