You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize