ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
