Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Having a random hookup so left but love u
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
