C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize