You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
