Soap is not a condiment
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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