wake up i wanna do it froggy style
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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