So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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