I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
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