Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
God, I missed his penis.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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