Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
well you can't waste a boner
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
