Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
