when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
