Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
