No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize