Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
