I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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