you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
This is my gift to your gina
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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