How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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