I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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