its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
