Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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