Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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