weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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