Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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