is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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