ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
