that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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