I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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