took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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