lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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