My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
