I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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