The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
