it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize