Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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