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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility

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  21 Sketchy Drug Deals That Are Scary AF

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (716): View more from New York

  I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Life is too short to have fake orgasms.

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I come from her. Holy hell.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.

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  17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.

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• (925): View more from California

  I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY

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• (207): View more from Maine

  RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR

  (207): View more from Maine

  THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets

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