i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
How does it feel to date your dad?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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