Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.