Texts From Last Night

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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off

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  (717): he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off http://tfl.nu/z28p
  Replies (39) Good night (6919) Bad night (2199)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.

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  (410): Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning. http://tfl.nu/oj20
  Replies (7) Good night (631) Bad night (3597)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes

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  (301): I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes http://tfl.nu/yjwe
  Replies (32) Good night (5614) Bad night (1165)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.

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  (724): I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet. http://tfl.nu/hq1s
  Replies (19) Good night (6313) Bad night (864)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.

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  (518): Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy. http://tfl.nu/8m2c
  Replies (17) Good night (5144) Bad night (1477)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier

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  (703): positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier http://tfl.nu/y4xr
  Replies (8) Good night (2085) Bad night (3910)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me

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  (201): They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me http://tfl.nu/zcpa
  Replies (6) Good night (4067) Bad night (1032)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.

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  (303): She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga. http://tfl.nu/aid2
  Replies (6) Good night (2645) Bad night (649)
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  (516): View more from New York

  well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks

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  (516): well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks http://tfl.nu/b8ud
  Replies (10) Good night (2378) Bad night (595)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.

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  (403): oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker. http://tfl.nu/xtlj
  Replies (9) Good night (1844) Bad night (999)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes

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  (501): I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes http://tfl.nu/3ixk
  Replies (10) Good night (695) Bad night (1224)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?

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  (804): I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT? http://tfl.nu/e21q
  Replies (9) Good night (1889) Bad night (825)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell

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  (217): She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell http://tfl.nu/6kpc
  Replies (6) Good night (574) Bad night (1396)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.

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  (405): Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out. http://tfl.nu/dhlk
  Replies (9) Good night (1703) Bad night (411)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.

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  (315): he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed. http://tfl.nu/gyqg
  Replies (1) Good night (306) Bad night (372)

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