you guys were way drunker than both of me
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I think I sprained my soul last night
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...