dude i'm inner monologue high
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
