you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
