I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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