community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
My feet surprised me
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