absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
