i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
