So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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