Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
