is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
