Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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