there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
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Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
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I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You need a sexual gate keeper
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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