She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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