what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
