I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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