i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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