My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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