Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
