Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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