you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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