That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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