Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
