I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
