Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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