I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
