plz talk dirty to me
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
