She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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