they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
