U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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